Wednesday, October 04, 2006 @ 6:02 PM
I never really talked about it or thought about it. I always thought it was never my business, just like my mum and my aunts would say, for I am too young.
But today, as I walked to the path, a sense of nostalgia came rushing over me.
I walked passed the place which used to be my cousins' place. It was demolished and was rebuilt into a modern looking terrace. I suddenly remembered how I used to visit my cousins everyday and play with them. My two elder brothers and my elder sister. We were so close.
I walked through the little shortcut I always take from my cousins' place to our place. When I was younger and tinier, the path seemed so huge to me, and I was always cautious of every step I take. And everytime I walked to a point, my hands would automatically cover my ears, and lead me to scream, as a black dog from my neighbour's would start barking at us. I would run scurriedly with my cousins and walked out of the path. There's always this point in the path where I would hold the railings real tight, in case I slip and fall.
Now, when I reached that pathway, it seemed so small to me. I walked passed the path, and the black dog never came. I guess it was gone. It's already been years. I looked at the little point where I would hold the railings tight- there isn't a need anymore. It's easy to cross.
I then walked passed where I had stay. The place, too, had been demolished, and was rebuilt into three houses. Three semi-detached. My big bungalow became roofs for three family. I felt so sad. It was no longer just "17W", but "17V" and "17X" as well. I could picture how the place used to look like, and I recalled how my elder brothers(cousins) would help me catch cats(because I love cats, and they dote my a lot). I remembered the time when I bathed with my sister(elder cousin) and we both got locked together in the bathroom. I remembered how I would catach spiders with my cousins, and my sister getting all disgusted. I remembered the pillow fight I had with my two dearest brothers(cousins), and how I always lose.
I missed those times where I laughed with them, where I played with them, where I cried with them.
I doubt they remember any of these, but I do.
I miss them.
I always wanted to be the heroine to heal the relationship between our families, but I never did.
Now that I see how our families had departed, how bad the relationship is broken, I can't help but to feel a pinch at my heart.
God, I really want us to reunite. Our families.